Paraphrased from Real moments by Beverly DeAngelis

1. In which areas am I so like other member of my family that I am not my own person but a mere copy of what they wanted me to be. (expressing love, affection, emotions, work habits, religious and political affiliations, eating and drinking habits, where you live, who you marry or even choose as friends, money issues, sex)

2. Did other family members treat others judgmentally? with anger? fairly? How are my attitudes the same or different from theirs? Are they better? What am I teaching my children? How do I treat people at work?

3. What part of my life have I sacrificed to get acceptance from others- or simply to not rock the boat? Am I ready to be my own person? Can I get the acceptance from myself for a job well done or do I need to always look to others for acceptance and praise?

4. What do I keep buried so deep inside me that no one else can see? Do I do the same thing to myself?. Is it really so bad?

5. Do I try to conform so much that I have compromised my beliefs, ethics, integrity? Is it solely in my personal life, business or both?

6. What have I done in the past where I felt I had to do them even though I really didn't want. Am I still doing it?

7. If I had to make a list of my beliefs and values, what would they be? Am I living up to them? If not, why not? What old habits, memories, traditions, etc. do I need to let go of.

8. If I wished to change my life to be attune to my real goals, desires and beliefs, what would need to be done in the next month, next six months, next two years?

9. Am I happy? What would I do differently to make me happy?

When you start questioning yourself, you'll start to grow up. If you don't, you'll always be a shadow of what you could have been. Life is short. Don't screw it up.

"When you die and go to heaven, our Maker is not going to ask, 'Why didn't you discover the cure for such and such? Why didn't you become the Messiah?' The only question we will be asked in that precious moment if 'Why didn't you become you?'"

from an old Yiddish story